Not Your Bitch

I'm not your bitch. I never was. I acted like I was, but I never really was.
You got to me. Yes you got to me. Before I knew better. Before I knew how to stand up. I just didn't know how to be strong so I cowered to you, deferred to you and was dictated to by you
But now, from now on, for the rest of my time, I wont be your bitch.
Not anymore.
You wont control me.

No you wont.

You will not control me.

You will not dominate me.

You wont push me down.

You wont stop me.

Not anymore.

I am stronger than you and I have learned that you gain your power by convincing me. Convincing me that I should give in.

I wont give in anymore. Others give in. Gave in. Will continue to give in. I learned to give in from them. You can still torment them. They are still willing to believe. Believe that you have a power that you don't. I am past that point.

I still respect your power.
Understand it.
Realize it.
Accept it.

But I don't bow to it. I still understand your impact but I will control my own destiny. I gave you extra power. Others give you extra power when they make you more powerful 

than you actually are. You can still impact them on that level. But not me. I wont give you more credit than you deserve.

Yes, it is MY destiny. You can impact it but you wont drive it.

Not anymore.

I wont lie down.

No, I wont lie down.

No.
I WONT LIE DOWN.
And let you beat me into submission.
Not anymore.

I will take what you have to throw at me and I will rise up and fight harder. There wont be any pills. Or potions. No pills or potions. There wont be any lying down. No muting of my emotions. 
I suspect you will just go away. Just stop trying. Because I am not willing. I am not enabling. I am not facilitating your need to control and dominate me. 
Not anymore.

I have triumphed. You didn't break me. I have persevered.
You didn't even hinder me. I am stronger now. You only made my resolve stronger. I am withstanding you. You should move on to others. You should focus your energy on the weak. I am now the strong. You are wasting your time and energy on me.

I am not your bitch anymore. I wont be ever again. I never really was. I just thought I was. Which meant I was. But I wasn't. Now I know that.

So I am not.
Not your bitch. 

Anymore.

So I thank you.
For trying to make me into your bitch.

For now I know that nobody can.

Anymore.

An ending that never had a beginning

I ignited your flame
Rekindled your fire
Like a flash of fire
You shot out at me

I didn't see it coming
It was the start of our fire
or was it?
maybe it was the end

I knew you were hot
bound to burn me
But I didn't flinch
I felt your sting

There was no pain
Your fire felt good
It tempered
the chill I had within

After you flamed out
You burned me
I was not cold anymore
So I felt the pain

It's like an ending that never had a beginning
It seems now like it is over
But it always seemed like it was over
Even when it was starting

As fast as we connected
We disconnected
If one of us latched on
The other was always pushing away

It was over as it started
It began as it was ending
it never seemed like there was ever any difference
they were the same thing

no start
no end
it went nowhere
as fast as it went somewhere

Now all I have left are scars
Burn marks to remind me
of where it started
and where it ended

the same place
It's like an ending that never had a beginning

Hungry

I am so full

Yet so hungry

I am so empty

Yet I have no hunger

My mind drifts

And I feel the hunger once more

Not just any hunger

A mind distracting hunger

I must feed that hunger

Better to feed it

Than to be consumed

For the longer it goes

The more hungry I get

And If I don't consume

Then it will consume me

Better to feed that hunger

Consume before being consumed

I must feed that hunger 

And so, I finally feed the need

Though I know the hunger will return

Sometimes stronger than before

But If I feed the hunger

I will be full even when I am empty

The Sum of One Minus One

You are one
I am one
We should add up to two

But we do not
We add up to nothing
How can that be?

If you only multiplied me
we could still be one
because one times one
is still one
  
If you only divided me
we could still be one
because one divided by one
is still one

But,
Together, we are zero
Because you negate my positive
One minus one is always zero
 
You only deter
You don't inspire

You only negate
you never add
you don't multiply, you subtract
When you divide us, you actually subtract

In the end
We are nothing together    

The Wind And The Tree

I am the wind,
A force of nature
And as I blow, I gather steam
When I reach you, I lose power
But then I deflect
To remain strong and carry on
Because I am strong,
Stronger than you will ever be.
I am the winded tree,
Nature’s hardships bend me
A constant battle
To maintain my shape,
The wind will bend me,
It is a strain to remain whole
I aspire to maintain my strength
I stay strong
And as I reshape, I become even stronger
Wind, you can only make me stronger still.
Tree, I will break you
Maybe not this time
Maybe not next time
But I will bend you a bit each time
Until you finally break
You are not strong,
You are weak
I am the stronger one
You are no match for me.

Wind, you are indeed strong
Very strong
I admire your strength
But, it doesn't break me
Instead, it bends me
And each time I bend
I spring back, even stronger
Your strength only enriches me
As you keep trying to bend me,
You only make me stronger than you.
Wind, once you were just a breeze
How did you become a force?
Did you gather nature’s strength
And nature’s fury
And in the process, make it your own?

Tree, as I began, I then grew
I didn't know my own strength
But, now you have made me stronger
By making me see
The true strength that I have
In making others stronger with my force.
Wind, once I was just a seedling
Below the earth
You could not enrich me,
Your strength did not reach me
But now, I am a tall tree
My roots are large and deep
My bark is thick, but strong
My exposure is constant
Your strength is what I seek
To further strengthen my core.
Tree, hold on to your roots
Because, I am only the wind
And I have no roots, no core
I need you to ground me
For without you
I am only the breath that blows through you
Just a breeze blowing with nothing to stop me
I am just a breeze blowing with nothing to stop me
My strength is in enriching your strength
Without you, I have no strength.
Without you, I am not strong
For you are my strength
And I am yours.

The Wind And The Tree

I am the wind
I am the force of nature
I blow when I gather steam
When I hit a target I lose steam and then deflect
I carry on and remain strong
I am strong
I am stronger than you will ever be

I am the winded tree Natures hardships can bend me
A constant battle
To maintain my shape
The wind will bend me
It is a strain to maintain whole
I aspire to remain strong
I am strong I become stronger when I reshape
Wind, you can only make me stronger

Tree, I will break you
Maybe not this time
Maybe not next time
But I will bend you a bit each time
Until you finally break
You are not strong
You are weak
I am strong
You are no match for me.

Wind, you are strong
Very strong
I love your strength
It doesn't break me
It bends me
Each time I bend
I spring back, stronger
Your strength only enriches me
Keep trying to bend me
Make me stronger

Wind, once you were just a breeze
How did you become a force?
You gathered natures strength
And made it your own

Tree, you are right
I don't know my own strength
Now you have made me stronger
By making me see
The true strength I have 
Is making others stronger

Wind, once I was just a seedling
Below the earth
You could not enrich me
Your strength did not reach me
But now, I am a tall tree
My roots are deep, but strong
My bark is tall, but strong
My exposure is plenty
Your strength is what I seek
To strengthen my roots

Tree, hold on to your roots
I am just the wind
I am weak
I have no roots
I need you to ground me
For without you
I am just a breeze blowing with nothing to stop me
My strength is weakness without enriching your strength